lifestyle, Mommy life, parents, self care, single mom

Preparation in My Single Season…

Podcast ep #4 on Living Simply with Jessica Harris: January is my favorite month of the year, because it’s not only the start of a new year, but it’s also my birthday month. This month I was able to celebrate my 30th. It was the end of one chapter and a fresh start into a new one. As a single woman with 3 children, I was recently asked how am I preparing for my single season. Now, that’s a really good question. Before I run down my tips I want you think about this as well. For the married ladies, I want you to reflect back on some of the things you did while preparing for your helpmate.

2021 was definitely a year of curve balls being thrown at me right out the gate. My long-term relationship with my children’s dad ended and I was left in a rut of different emotions. I had to come to grips with me transitioning from being a girlfriend to a single woman with not 1, not 2, but 3 children. It was not what I expected after a decade, but it was the hand that I was dealt.

Over the last year, I spent time getting to know me and getting to know God. I opened my heart for Him to come in and restore my mind, body and soul. I went from thinking I was damaged goods to knowing that I am God’s gift. His word says, And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. (Genesis 1:26-27 KJV) This means that God created me to have dominion over these things and I am in His likeness. Then why would I get stuck thinking anything less of myself. But life experiences tend to give us a bit of amnesia of who we are. So God had to remind me and it took time.

Loving me again…

During my single season I had to learn how to love me again, acknowledge where I was on the journey and embrace what God was doing through me and in me. I’ll be honest, I want to get married at some point, it’s just not my immediate concern at this moment. I’m focusing on improving myself. I know that I’m not perfect and that I have flaws. I want to be the one to confront those flaws so I can become the best version of me.

It’s not just about dealing with the stuff on the surface, but also dealing with the things inside of me as well. Those deep rooted hurts from my past like pain, rejection, betrayal take time to heal from. It’s a process and and not an overnight journey. I’m grateful to be doing the work now because when I get married I won’t be entering it as a broken vessel unable to retain what my husband wants to pour into me. But instead, we’ll both be able to pour from our overflow because I am praying for his healing as well.

Your single season is not just about you…

As I learned about who I was as a person, I also learned to better myself in other areas of my life. I learned more about me as a mom and how to improve in those areas and the same for me as a friend. God is so good that he just doesn’t restore you in one area of your life, but he will get you to be completely whole. I had to unlearn some habits and then learn some new ones. It really was a renewing of my mind that took place. Your mindset towards the transition makes a difference.

I raised the bar on myself…

I no longer just took care of Jess on the fly, but I was intentional about how that looked. Yes you have heard me mention scheduling myself in. I reiterate it because this is so important. I also journal daily. Not only does it allow me to place my thoughts elsewhere, but it’s also therapeutic as well. Just as I am working on my healing, I am showing my kids ways for them to take care of them too. Lastly I am focusing on not just my children, but on their generational wealth. I am building a legacy that they will be able to expand and work through.

Click the link to tune in for the full episode #4 on Living Simply with Jessica Harris:

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